Track Five | Racing

"Well, I was instantly upset." 

That was all I could utter. I think my actions expressed that much clearly. I was so upset I couldn't even explain it to him and because every action has a reaction he snapped back. It all was going so smoothly...as things usually go but I think it was his text I had dwelled on a little too long. We all have a breaking point but that was the wrong moment, however the few glasses of wine allowed me to speak up. Things were feeling to comfortable and it was only a bad thing because we were in a uncomfortable position. Well, I was. I was getting use to him and it took no time for me to get that comfortable. He was comfortable too, he was relaxed with me which I enjoyed to a extent. I wanted to be selfish with him and that night I'm guessing he could tell. 

Honestly, I hated sharing my cake with someone who wasn't hungry. I hated it, he hated it too but there was nothing being done about it, well not quick enough for me. So I blew up.  I didn't mean to but it was overwhelming. Can't stay long  kept dancing in my mind. I didn't want the kid to leave at all I absolutely hated saying goodbye and I didn't this time. Things were complicated and I felt myself drawing to close to someone who couldn't fully commit to me. At least not yet...he had done things this weekend that had my bestfriend screaming "Why can't my man do stuff like that for me?" he was good like that, he knew the little stuff made me smile.. at one point I thought to myself how lucky am I ? but that feeling had left and now the feeling of worriedness (yes I just made that up) had surfaced. "You were so cold to me." he sensed my emotion he was just unsure as to where it came from. "Explain, you gotta let me know." it was hard to do that, it seemed easier to write it all out here than to tell him at the moment. Mind racing... 

*Written days ago*