Track Five:The Pact

"So are you going to tell me about this boyfriend?" 

I immediately rolled my eyes at that statement for two reasons, one: he was just now bringing this up and two: I knew he was trying to take the steam off him since he was somewhat in the hot seat.I knew what I was about to tell him didn't sound believable however was very much the truth. "We broke up." it was simple, we did break up...like weeks ago. His response was nothing less than what I expected. He didn't really believe me... I guess because he had devils of his own in his closet but he was late, that relationship was over but brad still lingered around therefore I spared him the staggering response and straight up asked what he wanted to know and  like any man he said "what do I need to know?". 


I wasn't exactly sure what he needed to know. For starters it was hard to tell him anything for the simple fact that he was sensitive to what news was brought to him about me whether it came from me or a listening ear so it was ironic that we were even having this conversation in the first place however we recently made a pact to share whatever no matter what. That was the only way we'd stay in a positive place and steer from being at one another's throat. However, right at this moment it was extremely hard with the news that he was bringing to think or remain positive! I knew we agreed on sharing everything but there were just somethings my ears weren't ready for but I swallowed the pill plus we were in complete different places right now so I cut him A LOT of slack. Like he.. I was sensitive and selfish too but I could handle things a lot better than he, he hears something he doesn't like, we might go a few days without talking depending on what it is and how it rubbed him.I might not like what I hear coming from him all the time but I try not to let it get to me. I mean, one of us has to keep it together for the sake of this ship sailing smoothly.


I know this all sounds confusing I'm very single but I'm not open if that makes sense... I've been in a really insane situation with someone who's not only someone I consider one of my very best friends because he knows me inside and out but also he's my BIGGEST supporter even when I get on his nerves LOL but someone I've been deeply intimately connected to for the last five years. We first dated when I was a baby girl and we haven't let go of each other since. Have we dated other people since? obviously but it only seems to happen when we are in a dry spot not talking to each other and basically "beefing". Although, he and I haven't had a title in a few years.

 "Well, the reason it didn't work is because basically he's too busy for me. We don't see each other at all." I couldn't lie, talking about me being with or entertaining somebody else already wasn't a topic he really wanted to speak on but it was a pleasant feeling to know that the same emotion was being shared it was just ME that was the topic and not him. The conversation was really a blur since we were in two different environments last night and he wasn't able to really talk to me that way he wanted so I went to bed. 


"Wait, so you never saw him? tf." I woke up to that message thinking about how this whole truth's pact is going to pan out since we vowed to remain honest throughout it all.  It's not hard to be honest but when you're in love with someone it's a battle of trying to be honest and trying not to hurt their feelings and we both have had our share of hurting with and without each other so it's important to keep it BRUTAL. As far as any LOVE thing goes, he's the beginning and with a lot of consistency definitely the END.All I can do is  see what happens, hopefully the pact works in our favor. 


S/N: There's A LOT I'm not speaking on just yet. I'll break down the behind the scenes eventually. Just know it's just so hard to stay away from someone who makes you feel all fuzzy inside. AHHHHHHH