The Bull Pin Chronicles

LORDT! 

Never tell your friends that they are featured in your blog. Especially when they are just as if not more opinionated about themselves as you are. I have one who doesn't like that I called him ratchet and the other wants to be describe as a person in better detail. The hell? lol why did I even bother to tell them. It's okay though, those are the things that make my day go round. But I mean really, Evan can honestly get over the fact that he is ratchet. I've learned to accept that people don't like to accept what they are.#SHADE.Only BK was happy, she's usual the one who's easiest to satisfy anyway. Thank God for her! 

When in need of clarity, just ask the bull pin. 

I'm not sure if it was mother nature telling me that she's coming or just it was me having a early life crisis since I'm too young to even be kissing the "mid-life" age. However I literally felt like everything that I was doing had  NO meaning in my life. My job was relevant not because it was just the greatest but because I had one and was able to support myself financially.If I didn't have my job I'd probably be on a bridge being talked down off. Have you ever felt like IF you didn't have a job or were in school then what the hell were you breathing for? Ok, what about your dreams and ambitions...do they happen to scare you? Mine too. To the point where I almost talk myself out of being capable of achieving it period. I know they say your dreams should be so big that they scare you and I believe that but I also beleieve your dreams are just dreams if there's no direction or blueprint for what you want to do or go. Today, I literally questioned everything in my life because I forgot who I was, I forgot what I was capable of and I had absolutely no direction but then came the Bullpin to remind me that I'm moving in the right direction and I do have a blueprint it's just that I'm walking slow and still trying to find the shortest route to my destiny which revealed my problem. I'm moving too fast. I want it too quickly and with no problems and things worth having do NOT come that way.I CAN NOT help that I'm the only child and grew up with a single mother who never told me 'no' however I CAN help the fact that everyone isn't my mother and at some point in my life I have to hear No and when I hear No I just have to go harder until they get tired of seeing my ass and finally say Yes.#CHURCH! It wasn't until after our Come to Jesus Conversation that I was content, I feel like now I know the few steps to take to move forward in my future.Which brings me to say that it's imperative to have people to help you pin point and find clarity in your situation sometimes. If there's no one you feel that you can talk to in your life about what's going on or at least give you some advice or wisdom about things you question then it's probably time for to move around and find people who want to help and see you grow in something that you actually want to do. Anyway, don't wanna get all Oprah on ya! Who am I right? outside of a girl tryna get her life. 

Thank Me Later..No Drake        

Ratchet Review: Basketball Wives LA Reunion

Another Day, Another Basketball Wife 

Of course I was speeding home from work last night to make it in time to have hot dinner ready for all the rachetness that was about to take place. This was the first season reunion that I've watched where they only filmed one episode for the reunion. INTERESTING! I suppose those women couldn't sit long enough together to talk things out that happened this season. The host literally got rid of the entire audience. One thing I was disappointed about was the fact that Draya was sitting pretty in the cut. I don't know why I  thought "Miami" would be in attendance but I guess I thought wrong ..ahh well. I agree with sundy for once, she took the punk way out. However that's the only thing I can be in agreement with when it comes to Miss Sundy Carter. She is the true epitome of disgusting. I notice I see more reality TV stars like her do close to anything to ruin their credit for a check. When has it ever become that serious? My heart goes out to her because I can only imagine how incredibly unhappy she is with herself and life. Like, when has it ever been cool to openly flaunt that you planned on having  your child WITH  a married man?Like she said, she has a lot to "Fight" for because that name is D I R T Y  baby.  In the good words of my girl Phaedra Parks of RHOA  Fix it Jesus! on other note though I'd rather not spend too much time talking about how irrelevant she is to the cast of this season. However that Jackie Christie is something else baby! She's so great for the show because she  is SO damn messy. She knows how to get the pot brewing and going. If it was all kumbaya with the ladies, why would we watch? so sad yet so true but on a side note I'm really feeling Jackie's mature hair cut, maybe it'll help to make her want to be a better 60 year old woman, just maybe. I've never seen a hair cut do that but you just never know what wonders the Lord can work on people :) 

Then there's my beautiful black barbies Malaysia and Brandi who served for the gawds last night. That airbrush makeup is the true. YAS! and I cannot complain, they kept it very 'hood classy'. Just really wish one of them had Miami in their back pocket ready to jump out and black eyes at any moment but it's okay, I'll survive. However I wasn't expecting Malaylay's cousins to jump up on the stage and try to snatch up miss Sundy!  It happened so fast and at once that I couldn't really see what the hell happened. Just Jackie's old ratchet ass bucking at people looking all types of craazy! Lol Damn, where are her daughters? Smh....Moving on though, The Best Basketball Wife Award goes to Malaysia for apologizing to her husband on national TV. It takes a lot within yourself to muscle up a good ol' sincere apology to your spouse or significant other for that matter because of course us women don't like to be wrong....at any costs! and I really hope for the best between she and her husband. Super cute family. I was really happy to see that this show still has some mature good sensible women on it. Which brings me to Brandi, who's oh so Texas with it. In the beginning, I wasn't really feeling her persona especially when she admitted to "lurking" to find info about Sundy's daughter. That was completely out of line and wondered how she would've felt if the roles were different. However after a lot of flawless make up and hair she eventually grew on me and I've grown to really like her character. She's passionate and the camera can't edit which is what I love.I would definitely love to see her back next season along with the "chubby one" Brittish who I thought and still do believe is HOOD RATCHET. That girl doesn't appear to be use to anything. Maybe that's why it's okay for her baller boo to go and cheat on her whether she finds out or not. I mean. When you do wrong just buy her something bigger and better than what she already had, right? *SIDE EYE* I did have to admit that it was tickling to see the both of them try to explain what exactly happened in Houston, Texas. One said it happened and the other...well, just lied about it. I mean. When your info is already blasted just lie about it right? *SIDE EYE* Lawwd. These ladies, these ballers. I just hope this wedding lives up to the name next season. Do to such a toxic season I'll be surprised if Draya comes back but either way the show must continue to go on. I mean, they all just do this show for fun because they all are already paid up, right? 

Until Next Season.....

The Bull Pin Chronicles

Now I can't even begin to express to you how the bullpin has helped me. The bullpin was a name given to myself and 3 of my awesome co-workers by a "boss" of ours if you wanted to say. He thought that we were a interesting group of people and to us; the name stuck. Evan, who is the only other fully black co-worker in my office and most definitely the definition of RATCHET! He is probably one of my favorite people to work with. He's that guy that you don't realize you miss until he's missed a day of work and I have no one to talk to about RHOA if it's a Monday and the man I just love to joke with and shade from time to time. Then there's my sweetheart, my BABY! Ms. BK the only other women in our office and one of my favorite ladies I have yet to work with, outside of her super exotic sexual stories she likes to tell me about her baby and future hubby to be and outside of the days when her period is about to start and she's super emotional. (I don't know why I'm talking because when it's that time of the month I get the same way. See a homeless person on the street and just break down as if I don't see it any other time LOL) then it's all good. Either way she's my ride or die. Then there's my sweet Latino honeycomb, Young Lex who works my damn nerves with his blonde moments and thinks that he can't tell me what  he wants me to do when he wants me to do it lol *side eye* I love him though, he is the the nicest, giving young man I know and he unfortunately had to suffer every bad moment or melt down I ever had. I N E V E R in a million years thought that i'd be here with these creative, diverse and loving people but I'am and I'm so glad that God blessed me with them in my lives. You all have no clue how many bad days those faces made brighter. The bullpin is group of people who will be here forever. Plus, they're fun to write about. 

Besos, 

Lee 

Love Yourself Enough To Let Go

I think it was the conversation I had yesterday morning with my "boo" that made me realize that maybe I need to be honest with myself and let him GO. Yes, he's fine as hell, yes, he's smart, yes he had a lot going for himself but I want more. I always wonder when will enough be enough; when will God send me THAT sign? however I've learned only you can decide that. I think it was yesterday when he slipped up and accidentally told me about a girl making a comment about his annoying fire alarm since it's missing batteries. I mean, what chick want's to have that noise mute out her moaning right? Yeah, I figured.. and even though I knowingly caught him in the lie I let him continue on because it was OK since I wasn't his girlfriend but in reality, it's not. That's just telling him that it's okay for him to host other women in his company because I don't value myself to want more. Deep right? LOL Knowing this made me think about how far a woman would go to have a man in her life whether he's treating her right or wrong and I thought WE as women didn't stand for that. 

It's interesting because a close friend was telling me yesterday how she know's a guy who's getting married but still wants to start a relationship with her. As disgusted as we both were about the situation, me especially since I know how excited his fiancee is to plan and prepare fortheir wedding only for what? her husband tobe to cheat on her? SAD. Hearing these things definitely make me not want to put up with anyone who doesn't value me for everything I'm worth. I'm a ruby, something beautiful and rare and I feel every women should feel that way about herself. I use to be so ashamed to be single, especially when I knew of chicks who in my eyes weren't deserving of a man in the first place but I quickly learned that those people they were dating was a very clear reflection of themselves. Those guy/women didn't give a damn about them or themselves but again, someone will put up with anything just to say they have it. BLOOP!. So ladies, BY ANY MEANS..DO NOT SETTLE. If you find yourself having to "settle" his pathetic ass probably isn't worth it in the first place. I'm not sure if my title even relates to post but you get what I'm saying, these boys ain't loyal. 

Besos,

Lee

EX-Factor

There's always that one guy you'll never forget. He's the one that comes to mind when you meet someone new..although you may say you're over him; he ends up on your brain at any given time or moment. That one guy you still pray to God and wonder about. Yeah, we all inquire him. Whether he comes to you when you're young or old he's there. That guy you're still afraid to run into because you're not sure what will happen...that's who I'm talking about. THAT GUY! My question to the girls who know & conquer...how do you get over him? He's came back into my life and now I'm dealing with those feelings. He may not be here in flesh to tell me but as always...I'm in need of clarity. I'm not sure if I should go forward or step back. Most say "why go in the past?" But why not? He's the very reason I fell in love with LOVE to begin with. I'm sure he wishes if not me more that things didn't effect me like this. I still kinda wish he was here when I woke up... And as much as I say I want to hate him, I can't. He's the very reason I know everything I do...and as much as I love him, I simply don't need him. I feel like the one for me will do any and everything and he's not. That lesson was bound to come with time...just all depending on how I took it. All though, right now I don't need him...he'll be able to realize why I loved him to begin with.

#someneedtimetogrowincludingme